


State of Mind

by TheQueen



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aging is weird., Alternate Universe - Future, Existential Crisis, Future Fic, Grief/Mourning, Happy Birthday Lance!, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi, Post-War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-08 03:12:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11637732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheQueen/pseuds/TheQueen
Summary: Lance fought a war for the chance to grow old. And so he did.A Lance Birthday Fic!





	State of Mind

It’s seven thirty when he looks at the clock. He sighs, slumps back in his chair and rolls his neck. His mobile chip flashes and he considers ignoring it before reaching forward and splitting it open. Seven missed messages. _Right._

He takes another deep breath and considers just for a moment going to sleep here. But that wouldn’t be fair. Not to Hunk. Or Pidge. Who’d spent far too long on this “surprise” party for him. Not to Allura or Shiro or Coran who’d flown in, cutting business trips and conferences short to make it. And certainly not to Keith who’d been doing his best.

Lance knows he’s not being fair, but he can’t help it.

He stares at the computer screen, cursor blinking against a depressingly white screen, and realizes he doesn’t want to be here anymore. He doesn’t know if he wants to go home just yet, but he doesn’t want to be here.

He grabs his coat and his bag, remembers his headphones for once, and slips his computer chip back into his wristwatch and even closes the light before locking his office. Familiar music blares through the wireless buds and he bobs his head in time to the rhythm as he jumps down the steps. The street below is nowhere near empty. The capital city a city that never sleeps, running 30/7.

He side steps a few college kids on their way to the west side for a night of drinking and smiles. Mom had never been a huge fan of the Capital. _Busy_ , she’d said when she’d visit in the same way she tended to say “filthy” or “annoying.” One or two sharp words to summarize a feeling because she’d never been the type to waste words. He’d taken more after his Mama, more prone to talk and talking and talking.

Ana says Mama started laughing again yesterday. That’s good.

He ducks under the awning of a street vendor and orders a fruit cup. Keith said he’d be making dinner. He’d improved leaps and bounds since they first started dating; only forced to cook over open flames during recon missions when rations tended to run low because this or that complication. And a large part of Lance looked forward to going home, to eating a good meal, to blowing out the candles on his 50th birthday cake and laughing with friends.

Another part feels guilty.

That’s something they never really talk about when you’re a kid. Something you’re aware of but not consciously. It’s a duh sort of thing, isn’t it? Of course, right? Of course parents die. Age takes all. Time doesn’t stop for anyone. She’d been old.

Lance had been the last of four. She’d been old his whole life compared to all the other parents. When she died she was 86, a good respectable age. She got to see all her kids grow up, get married, start proper careers. She got to see grandkids and great grandkids. She got to see the universe! The start of human colonization of their planet and the first real commercialized space travel. She got to see the start of the Republic in the aftermath of the ten thousand year war.

He’ll never forget her face that day he came home for the first time in five years. The disbelief turning to joy turning to confusion. He’d held her as she’d cried; the first time he’d ever seen one of his mothers cry.  

Two months ago, he’d held his Mama as his Mom had passed in the other room.

He finishes his fruit cup and finished crossing the street just as the walk light turns red. His music changing from something soft and moody to his normal dance music. He considers changing it before deciding to leave it. If he races to the train station he can catch the late 22 back to the center and switch to the red line. It won’t be too late. He glances at his watch and notices Hunk called him again.

He’s forty minutes late, but everyone’s mostly been good about giving him space.

He fought a war for the chance to grow old. Got married a little too young because he was afraid tomorrow wouldn’t come. But it came and it came and it came. And now here he is. He’s turning 50 today. The big ol’ five zero. He’s 50 and his Mom is dead and his Mama is very old. It’s all very sobering.

He fought a war to stay alive but he can’t fight time.

He watches a stoplight change from yellow to red to green as he waits at the bus stop. A woman with a small child whispers something to her husband and he laughs. A young man laughs loudly at something his friend said. An old woman walks up to him asks for his seat and he gives it gladly.

But… but it’s not all sad right?

He’s fifty and married to a beautiful man for twenty six years with a meaningful career and the chance to still explore space. He has the ability to change lives for the better. Has the knowledge to do it right.

Keith and he have been discussing adoption now that the universe needs them a little less and work doesn’t consume every waking moment of their day. Hunk and Shay’s daughter is getting married soon. Pidge and Tifla are moving in together.

He’s fifty and he’s lived a wild, crazy life filled with far too many near death experiences. He’s had his fair shares and ups and downs. And if he’s lucky he’ll have another good thirty years. Maybe even forty.

Life moves on.

The 22 pulls up. Lance stands, rolls his shoulders, steps onto the bus along side the young couple and their daughter, and finds a seat towards the back.

 

 

 

 

 

A birthday is just another day where you go to work and people give you love. Age is just a state of mind, and you are as old as you think you are. You have to count your blessings and be happy.

-Abhishek Bachchan

**Author's Note:**

> To be honest this isn't the story I set out to write for Lance’s Birthday but then I watched a man die this Monday. He was in a motorcycle accident and I was waiting to cross the intersection. And I realized, while talking to my father, that the young woman who was driving the motorcycle this other car hit was probably his daughter. And I realized, in that moment, there is going to be a day when my father and my mother aren't there anymore.
> 
> (Safe to say I’ve had a weird week.)
> 
> One of the reasons I love Lance so much is because he has potential. He's this character who can go in a lot of different ways because he's adaptable and the strong personality traits we've seen on screen still need to be explored. He embodies, in a lot of ways, this symbol of the young adult/older teen to me. He doesn't know where he's going or how he fits in. He doesn't know what his "thing" is but he's excited to find out.
> 
> So it's easy to take Lance and place him in these different story lines and see what he does. It’s one of my favorite reasons to write him and it’s probably why I write him the most.
> 
> And after Monday, I kept wondering what would Lance, the family oriented character he is, think of dying. So tada!
> 
> Please let me know what you think!
> 
> On another note please support me on my writing blog [thequeen117@tumblr](https://thequeen117.tumblr.com/). I’m always happy to talk about Lance and Voltron! 
> 
> Also the zine I’ve helped create, [Starboy: A Lance Zine](http://lancezine.tumblr.com/), has now opened pre-orders so please consider buying!


End file.
